Bittersweet Love

Standing alone in the drizzling rain, I shivered slightly. I was feeling lonely, almost desperate. I couldn't shake this feeling that had come over me moments before. Upon entering the park, I noticed a woman wandering toward the edge of the sidewalk many feet ahead of me. As she sauntered away, I nearly spoke up…to this stranger in the park…just wanting to be heard.

Why won't people just listen to me? Do I speak a different language? I just merely want to be heard.

I found a bench along the path I walked, and sat down to rest my feet. I was completely drenched by now, having walked in this drizzle for what seemed like miles. As I looked around, all I could see were trees, shrubs, and a small fountain a few feet away. All this beauty in front of me, and yet all I saw was inside my lonely head. So that I could see behind my desperate eyes, I closed them gently, humming the tune of a blues song I'd heard the night before.

I wanted to be in this park forever. Forever not having responsibilities…forever not having to report to work at a certain time, or on any particular day. My head fell back as I imagined life in this park. Imagine who I'd meet along the way. Would they talk to me, or would I have to initiate conversation? Could I just sit here, not say anything, and survive from day-to-day? Of course that's not possible. If I felt alone now, I imagined how lonely I'd feel sitting in the park day after day.

I felt a strange aura around me all of a sudden, but something told me not to open my eyes. Instead, I focused on the feeling of the now steady rain falling up on my face. I concentrated on how it felt as it dripped onto my forehead first, then my closed eyes. Next, I felt the rain envelop my cheeks and mouth, paying particular attention to the feeling it brought as it gently fell upon my lips. It was nearly sensual. I could feel the coolness on my fingertips, next.

I felt a light touch on my cheek, and a man whispered in my ear, "Shhh…you're beautiful…keep your eyes closed, please."

Normally, I would open my eyes immediately upon being told what to do; however, something compelled me to not look. As I felt a gentle touch on my right hand, I was amazed at how unafraid I was right at that moment. He raised my hand up to his face, first resting it gently on his cheek, then eagerly moving it from one cheek to the other so that I could feel the curves of his face with the back of my hand. He turned my hand over, and moved it to his mouth. As he gently kissed the palm of my hand, and down to my wrist, I lifted my head off the bench, and sat straight up. I was feeling uneasy all of a sudden. I should open my eyes…why can't I open my eyes?

I started to speak, and I felt his face get very close to mine. He whispered, "Shhh…don't be afraid. I won't hurt you…" As his words faded off, he reached down and gently kissed my full lips. The kiss felt so sincere and sweet. And, deliberate. Who was this person? Where did he come from? I began to kiss him back. At first slowly, then deeper. I felt the electricity pour through my body, as I heard him let out a slight moan.

My eyes remained closed, to my utmost surprise. I imagined him just as I wanted him to look. My hands began to roam, as were his. I tried to imagine how I'd recognize him if I couldn't ever see him. I felt every detail of his light jacket as it hugged his arms from the rain. I felt his fingers, long and thick. I paid special attention to the fact that his hands roaming my body were not of the normal forbidden parts. He touched the crook of my arm first, and up gently rounding my shoulder. His face came down to rest his cheek upon mine. He reached down with one hand and ran his fingers from my thigh to my knee, resting his one hand behind my knee, as the other hand came up my back and to the nape of my neck. As he slowly and passionately grabbed the back of my head by my hair, he kissed one eyelid, then the other…then moved on down to my mouth. His luscious lips were upon me at that moment, and it felt as if lightening had struck right through the core of my being. I whimpered as he kissed me deeper and more passionately than I'd ever been kissed.

After a few moments of mysterious glory, he began to pull away. He rested his palm upon my upper chest, above my tantalized breasts. He held it there as he whispered in my ear, "I hear you loud and clear…and I'm listening…" Yet, I hadn't spoken a word.