Sweet Home Alabama

Ms. H has never been to Missouri. However, she has heard the word Missouri far too often for her liking, in the past few weeks. She knows a fellow from Missouri, and he's been talking, recently, about wishing he were home. In Missouri. And, now, it appears Reader 492 is suggesting that if Ms. H does not blog bi-daily (is that an actual word/term?), that she may as well move to Missouri.

Missouri, my friends, is a far away place. It is a place that exists only in Ms. H's mind, although, she realizes that it actually does exist.

The only thing that Ms. H can offer you, her readers, is a little something based on nothing. Enjoy!

Walkin' to Missouri one night, Shenandoah saw bright headlights coming her way. She slowed her pace just a bit to ready herself for a jump in the bushes, if needed. As the car approached, she could see it was a late model sedan, brownish in color. Her heart skipped a beat, and she prayed aloud, softly. Standing here on Route 66, Shenandoah could just imagine some Able Bodied Man disabling her body, and doing Lord-knows-what with it afterwards.

Shenandoah was only Forty Miles from Poplar Bluff. If she could only get back to her abandoned car on Chicken Road, she could get to her destination by daybreak. She could hear the squeaking brakes as the car slowed to approach her. She turned slightly just as a gruff looking man in his late forties appeared before her. She could tell, as shallow as it is, just by his looks, that he was an Absolute Zero. Shenandoah was scared. And, it takes quite a bit to scare her.

"You tryin' to get Across the Wide Missouri, ma'am?" he spoke in a friendly, yet deep voice.

Shenandoah answered, trying not to show her fear, "I'm just Leaving Missouri, Sir. I'm trying to get back to my car. But my brothers, Frank and Jesse James, are nearly here to pick me up."

Before the man could respond, Shenandoah spotted a Red Sombrero in the back seat with a cape of some kind. Red, to match the sombrero, with tassels to add flair. She wondered if it was a costume, or if it belonged to someone else. It didn't appear that anyone else was in the car. Her mind wandered a bit as she wondered, briefly, if maybe there was someone in the trunk. She'd never know.

"Alrighty, then, Miss Matilda, you take care. I'll get back to My Dark Life," he said, as he sped away into the night. She wondered why he'd called her that, but tried not to give it too much thought.

As Shenandoah pulled out some Animal Crackers, she thought to herself, 'Whoa, that was a close call.' She munched as she walked, her feet shuffling as if to a rhythmic beat. After a bit longer, she heard a faint noise in the distance. It sounded as if it were music coming her way. Shenandoah thought to herself, 'As much as I could use some Soul Rocking, I SURE hope that's those darn boys coming to get me.'

The music grew louder and louder as the car approached. This time, Shenandoah, with a bit less caution, turned to face the car. Indeed, it was the boys coming her way. She could tell by the bent grill on the blue van they were driving. Dose of Thunder - that's what they called it. Crazy boys. She stuck out her thumb as they approached, as if she were a stranger, hitchhiking in the night.

"I'm Tryin' to Get to Heaven, boys," she said as they rolled up.

They slowed to a stop, and Frank said, "Shhh. Get in, sister. Just Let it Ride!"

Shenandoah spotted someone in the back of the van, laying down. Shenandoah said, "What's My Cousin Kim doing with you guys?" Neither brother answered her, and she decided to let it go, as she sat back to enjoy the ride. She was glad to be off her feet, in a warm car, and felt safe, knowing that she was headed back to her car. She knew that it would be fixed, and that she'd be fine.

Shenandoah realized she'd noticed an unfamiliar smell, as she entered the van. It smelled different somehow. So Fresh, So Clean, which was much different than normal. She asked the occupants of the van, including Kim, who was awake by now, "What's that smell???"

They all knew it was unlike the boys to have such a clean van. And, They All Laughed.