Playing the Victim

"Them 'er the breaks, kid," Jack sighed, trying not to sound too harsh, but down-playing the matter a bit.

"Why, daddy? Why me? I just don't get it," Hannah cried.

Jack didn't know what to tell her. He just hugged her tight, and let her weep against his chest.

Hannah was a fifth grader at Somerset Middle School. Her elementary years has gone fairly smooth, much to Jack's fretting along the way. He had always been somewhat of an overprotective parent. Worry Wart is what they called him, Hannah and his wife. However, this year, the first of four middle school years, was different. Hannah had trouble from day one; although, Jack couldn't quite pin down the root of the issue.

Hannah had trouble waking up in the morning....every morning, so it seemed. She ran late most days. She said kids would tease her at school, nearly on a daily basis. When Jack and his wife would ask, Hannah made up stories about how kids would call her names and make fun of her. She never really went into depth. After a couple months of this, they urged and pleaded for her to explain, she finally admitted that the kids would call her fat, or names related to her weight. As mean as it was, and we all know kids are the worst, one had even called her fat ass.

Jack and his wife, Shannon, had been unsure what to do about this problem. It had been merely seven months since school started, but it seemed an eternity. Especially, with what seemed like daily episodes. These incidents were affecting Hannah's behavior. Not only, socially, but in her school work, and her daily life. Hannah had trouble focusing, and her grades were dropping. She didn't listen, and talked back more often than not. Shannon, especially, was struggling with this area. Hannah had always been such a cooperative and obedient child.

After having a serious talk, Jack and Shannon decided it was time to do something. And, they needed to do it fast! Jack asked Shannon to contact a local doctor, and get some referrals for not only weight loss clinics, but for a recommendation of a local counselor that was well equipped for working with adolescents.

Jack knew he needed to talk to Hannah, and let her know what was going on. He also knew it would be such a touchy subject with her. He had to be able to explain it to her in a way that didn't make her feel like a failure, or that she was a bad child. Her already fragile self-esteem couldn't take another blow like that. Jack realized that the best way to approach it would be with facts. And, to take responsibility for he and Shannon's participation in her gaining the weight she had over the last few years. Right then and there, he also realized that he and Shannon would need counseling, as well. He informed Shannon that, this time, he'd take care of getting the referral.

Jack and Shannon did talk to Hannah, and they felt it went well. Although Hannah didn't really understand the complexity of the problem, she seemed to grasp the need for her to lose weight, and that it would help her in the long run. She was willing to give it a try, if it meant feeling better about going to school.

Months passed, and Hannah had set-backs, but she did lose weight. The family attended counseling on a bi-weekly basis, together and separate. Hannah continued to struggle with wondering why this had happened to her. She would eventually learn that playing the victim will only keep her stuck.