On Vacation

Well, here it is. A last post for about a week or so. I'm headed to Salt Lake City in the morning. Wish me luck and think of me often. :-)

Forbidden

Tomorrow is kept quiet.

Do you know the secret of tomorrow?

Tomorrow is locked away.

Do you have the key?

Tomorrow holds my future.

Can you see yours there too?

Tomorrow never arrives.

Does your world stop when you love too?

Tomorrow I will be whole.

Should I bother to look for you there?

Tomorrow you will be whole.

Whether I'm there or not.

Quote of the Day

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear."
– Mark Twain

Better Days, Better Lays...Always...

Man, yesterday was a bad day. I'm so thankful it's over. :-)

I attended a workshop on Laughter today. It was nice. We actually learned how laughter can help you mentally, physically, and spiritually. This lady had us doing several different weird-o exercises, but it was fun. And, we laughed. Apparently, the goal is to laugh at least FIFTEEN times per day. Do you laugh that much?

So, in other news, I have two full days left before I leave. I'm getting more nervous by the minute. Just sayin'.

Anyone have any "sound" advice for me??? Other than, Mr. Wonderful's: What could possibly go wrong? No, I mean it...really...think of how many things could go wrong!

No thankyouverymuch. I don't wanna.

Things aren't always as they seem...

Have you ever awoken one morning and all of a sudden seen things in a different light? It's as if you look around and what once looked bright-shiny purple, now looks dull grey. What once looked like a garden feast, now looks like a pile of shit.

Yeah, that's the kind of morning I've had.

Again, knowledge is power, and perspective is key. That's been huge for me this week.

Don't mess with me. I'm not in the mood.

Have a lovely day!

Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Good morning class. Today we are here to learn about jumping to conclusions. More importantly, ways to help you NOT jump to conclusions.

1. Stay cool and calm. Be aware of your racing mind and rising temper.
2. Consider all possibilities. Perception is not always reality.
3. Internal negative thoughts are often times LIES we tell ourselves based off of past experiences. Realize these are LIES, and don't believe the hype.
4. Ask questions, particularly for clarification, BEFORE you act and/or react.
5. If you're not clear about the answers given, ask MORE questions.
6. Realize and take responsibility for your own actions and reactions. The choices you make are just that...options presented for you to make decisions based off of facts.

Any questions?

In the Milieu of a Monday

It's been awhile since I've posted. Life is good. I have been extremely busy, while being able to experience some "down time" simultaneously. Overall, I had an excellent weekend.

Falling for someone, although scary, feels damned good.

I've been working hard for my business, and it's beginning to really pay off. I hope I can keep up the momentum.

At the same time that I'm feeling good, a dear friend is hurting. I feel frozen...knowing that I'd love to help, but also knowing that there isn't much I can do.

As far as this week goes, I'll be extremely busy preparing for my trip to Salt Lake City. I'm excited and nervous. It's been so long since I've been any great distance. I've got fear by the back of the neck, though. Onward and UPward!

It's so nice to have supportive, loving people around me. I can't seem to ever thank you all enough. :-)

Quote of the Day

"I have accepted fear as a part of life, specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: Turn back, turn back; you'll die if you venture too far."
-Erica Jong

Conscious of Benefit Received

Just when you think everything's going great, it all falls apart. Only, not really. It's all in your head. It only falls apart in our heads, people! Nothing actually falls apart. Things happen, sure. But everything never falls apart.

Self-discovery is a beautiful thing. Why in the world did it have to happen so late, or what feels like so late, for me? I wish I could have gotten to know Tracy years ago. ;-)

Friends are gracious and kind. Family is supportive and real. And, babies are just plain beautiful...no matter how annoying they are, at times.

If I'm lucky enough to consider you my friend or family (which you probably are, if you're reading this)....thank you. From the bottom of my heart...for caring for and/or loving me. I love you too.

Oh Happy Day!

I hate Fridays. Work sucks. Who's idea was it to WORK on Fridays, anyway? It feels like the closest people in my life are attacking me. Suck a duck. Oh well...I'm in a pretty good mood anyway.

I'm sure it's my imagination, or something I've said...since it's multiple people, and there's only one me.

Smears

Danger lurks in the air. You push it away. Far in the distance.
Your mind urges...don't do it. You don't know what's out there.
But your heart... Oh, your heart...how it clings fast.
Remind me, my sweet.

Frostbitten toes....wandering souls.
The desolate future, or is that merely a mirage?
Forbidden to love, truly love.
Because of something that was taken away from you in a past life.

Define past life. Was that yesterday? Or, was it years ago?
Today is the only day that really counts, anyway.
Right?
Define counts.

Tears, breaking free, fall onto the keyboards of life.
Broken, you say?
Not eternally....just for today.
Everyone is lost and broken.

Everyone is normal. In their own world.

Save the Internets!!

Watch THIS! Share it! Get involved!

what is offered must suffice

Wishing Well

On the edge, she's teetering. Which way will it be?
Longing for something...she's never seen.
Wishing on a star?
Probably not.

One chooses despair. Or, do they really?
Bittersweet tongues...ah, but aplenty.
Burning desire?
Probably not.

Just like fragrance, it's only temporary.
Two hearts, entwined. Yet, pierced from past wounds.
An accident?
Probably not.

Which path should she choose? Or, how does one know?
Magical mystery, dizzy despair, honestly hopeful, or plain positive.
Anyone care?
Probably not.

Cows Need Love Too

I had an interesting experience the other day. It wasn't a first, per se....but a first at this particular place. I had mixed emotions going in; however, quickly overcame any adverse emotions once inside. The place, you ask?? It was...the one and only Acropolis Steakhouse. Also known as a female strip club. Yes, you read it correctly. I went to a female strip club last week. And, it was actually fun!

Brian and I were hungry, and a steak sounded as good as anything else. Plus, I had heard they were the CHEAPEST spot in town to get a great steak dinner. And, indeed, it was a cheap steak dinner. They even have a salad bar! Does it sound like I was shocked to see a salad bar in this type of establishment. Well, yes, I was shocked. But that's okay. The steak was yummy and the salad...just as good.

Even though this was not my first time in a female strip club, it was, however, my first time sitting at "the rack." I was a Rack-Virgin, if you will. I'm sure glad Brian knew what he was doing, as I had no one dollar bills for tips. He tipped for me (what a guy). I got a full fledged show (if you know what I mean) right there at the rack. I was a bit shy at first....but hey, who wouldn't be? However, I have a total and complete appreciation for beauty, in any form.

It was a quiet afternoon, with only three girls working. Walking around mostly naked, they would swap stages after three songs. After seeing all three girls dance in the main stage area, there was only one girl that seemed "real" to me. The other two were obviously fake on so many levels. Brian asked her what they "call her." Jezebel was her response.

Jezebel popped my rack cherry by bringing her naked crotch within inches of my face. Like I said before, I was a bit shy at first, as I had never been that close to another adult female's crotch, other than my mother's when I came out head first. As I backed off my upper torso, Jezebel said, in a playful manner, "Oh, don't get shy on me now. How do my tonsels look?" Apparently, Jezebel isn't just beautiful and graceful, with great taste in music, she is also a comedian!

I left the Acropolis that evening yearning to return again in the near future. And, ready to invite some friends! Wanna go???

In the Throws of a Thursday

Contemplative, confuzzled, lost, broken, concerned, discouraged, yet empowered.